Earlier this week I mentioned that my friend, Bob The Teacher Jenkins was in town staying at my home for what turned out to be a 3-day VIP mutual intensive work session with some fun and family games thrown in the middle. Bob even taught my 5th grader, Gracie, all about binary and hexidecimal numbers. Yep, it’s what we do for fun

In my previous post, I asked for questions for Bob & I and today I’m sharing with you the answers to those questions. We made a video that turned out to be almost an hour long with some in-depth tips that answered questions like:

• What are the dos and don’ts of using props in a speech?
• What are some effective ways to use humor in a speech?
• How do I promote my book when I’m just starting out and don’t have any following yet?
• How can I get my first joint venture partner?
• What was the turning point when your business began to soar?

Have a look and I’d love to see your answers to some of the questions or your thoughts on our answers in the comments below! Oh- and be sure to watch the outtakes at the end – we had A LOT of fun and laughs doing this!!

While we were making this video, more questions came streaming in, so Bob and I talked about it and we’ve decided we have to figure out a way to do this again. Stay tuned for more details as they become available. Got a question of your own? Go ahead and share it in the comments below.

Out to dinner with my hubby, Brent, Bob “The Teacher,” and his girlfriend, Therese.

What if you had a brilliant marketing strategist, who regularly hauls in more than $10K a month every month (and has for years), someone who can help you organize your business ideas and plans, teach you how to create and run all your systems online, and how to travel across the country whenever you feel like it for speaking engagements, work and fun — what if THAT person was coming to your house for dinner? Or even staying overnight all the way up to 48 HOURS?!

What would you ask that person??

That’s the opportunity I have right this very minute and I thought I’d share my good fortune with you.

You see, as a speaker in the marketing community I’ve had the extreme good fortune to get to know many of the best and brightest folks doing business today. In fact, I still pinch myself that I get to call many of these people my friends. And one of those friends is Bob “The Teacher” Jenkins.

A few weeks ago Bob asked me if he could spend a couple of his vacation days here with me and my family (who adore him!) while his girlfriend is teaching a program not too far away. So now I find myself in the enviable position of having his business brilliance all to myself for the whole day today and much of the workday tomorrow. We’re cooking up some cool stuff on our own, but I wanted to check with YOU – what do you want me to ask him for you?

I’ll record his answers on video or somehow get you his responses. Check back here by the end of the week for links, an article, or something special… who knows what it could be?!

So RIGHT now in the comments below share your questions. I’ll feed him a good breakfast and we’ll get on those answers today and tomorrow.

Here’s that question as it appeared on Facebook:

As I read this post, I realized I get this question A LOT and have for years. In fact I even wrote an article about it – I knew I did, I just had to find it. It’s on Ezine Articles here. Apparently I never put that article on my own blog (oh if I had a nickel for every time I knew better, but didn’t do something I’d have a second home on the beach already!). I’m fixing that today, and updating it just a bit.

You see, many business professionals think they sound OK when presenting their content on teleseminars, webinars, or even in person. But it’s when they listen to themselves on the recording later or are confronted with a set of transcripts that they realize they have a few issues to improve. The good news is we all can improve when we take that first step: realizing we need help.

One of those problems is ums and uhs; also “like,” “you know,” and other verbal crutches show up a lot in too many presentations. If you want to cut those out, here are my top 5 suggestions for the most effective ways to get past the ums so your message comes through loud and clear:

1. Be Aware
   This is the important first step. Many people simply have no idea they rely on verbal pauses or disfluencies until they hear themselves on a recording. The first step in overcoming any addition is to recognize and acknowledge that you have one. And truly, people who say um and uh too much are addicted to their crutch words. Having an awareness that you make this mistake will get you that much closer to stopping it.
2. Practice Out Loud
   If you have a tendency to um and uh, the reason is often because you have an idea of what you want to say next, but you’re not totally certain. So you insert a verbal filler to fill the space while you figure out the next word. Practicing out loud will get you to the point where you are completely comfortable with what you’re saying, and therefore not have the need to um or uh (or at least greatly reduce it). If you plan on delivering the same material multiple times, you’ll have to practice much less often as you gain more experience. If you can, record yourself while practicing so you can hear where you tend to um and uh the most.
3. Work From Detailed Notes and Not a Script
   You’d think a word-for-word script would make it easier to stop the ums… and it can. But only if you have experience making a script sound natural. Otherwise you’ll sound like you’re reading. That’s the opposite extreme of um and uh and sounds just as bad. Use detailed notes and be sure of the points you want to make.
4. Focus During Your Presentation
   Listen to yourself as you present your speech or teleseminar. Do not think about anything else other than what you are saying, how you are saying it and your audience: IN THAT MOMENT. People will um and uh when they are distracted from their planned comments. For example, while on a teleseminar, shut down your email, Facebook, and other instant message features so you won’t be visually interrupted (sometimes just the sound of those things can distract you enough to trigger an um.) Don’t try to multi-task while leading a call or doing any type of presentation. Focus and pay attention to the moment.
5. Connect with Your Audience
   Here’s a fun test to do the next time you’re practicing with a friend: try to say um while making direct eye contact. It’s nearly impossible. Why? Because you’re having a conversation and um isn’t a word. Um doesn’t fit and doesn’t make sense. While you’re having a 1:1 conversation, you would likely avoid um and uh. Make your presentations much more conversational and your um and uh will disappear. On a webinar or teleseminar where you can’t see your audience members, you could post a photograph of your ideal client or audience member where you can see it to remind yourself you’re talking to actual human beings and not just to your computer screen.

Is it crucial to get rid of all the ums and uhs? Experts disagree, but in my decades of experience as a speaker, audience member, and instructor, I haven’t thought less of a speaker who had outstanding content with an occasional um or uh. You don’t have to eliminate every um and uh when the rest of your message is solid. The time to get concerned is when your audience is listening for your next um instead of paying attention to your message. So fix what you can, give yourself a break, and um, keep on public speaking.

As to the reply that Contentrix doesn’t know what I offer – for someone who has verbal fluency issues, I offer several personal services. I will watch a video or listen to a recording and analyze the challenges in both content and delivery, which is delivered as a written report; then I’ll work with and coach the speaker via phone or Skype video chat to improve during a series of private sessions. And I guarantee that anyone who works with me in this intense kind of way WILL improve dramatically.

So now you know!

What kinds of challenges do you recognize in yourself as you speak? And what has worked to help you improve? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments below.

Creating Connections Ezine, ©Felicia J. Slattery // ISSN 1939-8646 // Volume 10 – Issue 5

Inside this Edition:

• Note from Felicia
• Speaker’s Spotlight
• Feature Article
• Upcoming Events
• Marketplace

Anticipation!

Last week my family enjoyed our spring break in East Tennessee visiting my wonderful in-laws, celebrating my husband’s 40th birthday, and playing at Dollywood, one of our favorite amusement parks in the country. My younger daughter, Miranda, finally is big enough this year to ride on the BIG roller coasters and she was ecstatic! Here we are waiting for our turn on the Tennessee Tornado. We decided to pick up season passes, so we’ll definitely be back for more soon!

Testimonial Gold: Your Next Free Webinar

According to marketing guru Dan Kennedy, one of the most under-used yet highly persuasive tools for any marketer is testimonials. If the reception I received recently at three different  Chicago-area meetings is any indication, smart business owners agree. That’s why I decided to teach Testimonial Gold next week, Wednesday, April 10. Save the date and look for more information coming soon to an inbox near you .

Go Big! This Week

I am invited (along with a select group of training specialists) to take part in a cutting edge way of learning called “Micro-Learning” (cool, right?!) It’s named “GO BIG And See The Results In Your Checkbook Video Summit,” a free series just for you.   What I love about the organizer of this event (Sheila Galligan) is she refuses to insult your intelligence with false claims AND she’s dedicated to making sure the content in this event is HIGH content HIGH value stuff.  Here’s how it works: Each speaker will present short bursts of 20-minute videos – I submitted mine, which I recorded all new just for this event. Each video is then followed by a LIVE Q&A session where you can ask the speaker any question you want! So not only are you getting quick bursts of stellar content – but you also
have DIRECT ACCESS to each speaker. Very cool, right? Go Big for free this week only.

Kill The Elevator Speech: Stop Selling, Start Connecting Book
In case you missed it, my next book, which I have been having a fabulous time researching and writing, is one of my hot projects now. In fact, I set a new deadline for myself. I am publicly announcing I plan to have the book finished by April 30 (GULP!). I’m using this section of my ezine to keep myself accountable and finally get the manuscript done and to my publisher. My goal is to get to 40,000 words (good ones, not just a bunch of baloney to up the word count). So each edition, in this spot, I’ll tell you where I am with my current word count. You may not even pay attention to it, but I’ll know. This week’s word count: 23,795. Looks like I have my work cut out for me!

Feature Article: 7 Tips for Face-to-Face Meeting Success
This article is an excerpt from my upcoming book, Kill the Elevator Speech. In it you’ll see if business professionals even care about in-person meetings anymore with so many technology options and what you can do to boost your chances of being memorable without having to memorize and regurgitate an “elevator speech.” (bleck!)

Enjoy and until next time, happy speaking!

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Speaker’s Spotlight: New Book for Experts Who Want to Make Money Blogging

Feature Article: 7 Tips for Face-to-Face Meeting Success

Before the advent of the Internet as we know it today, with all its myriad ways to communicate, leaving the house was truly the only way to meet new people, unless you had a dinner party at your own home and a guest you invited brought a “plus one.”

Now, wherever you like to hang out online, you can meet new people, easily and effortlessly. There’s Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Google Plus, Pinterest, and Quora, just to name a few sites where people interact with each other, often in meaningful ways, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.

Before the current crop of social websites, there was Ryze and Yahoo Groups, and various forums for every interest under the sun. Before those, there were Usenet conversation groups, which often centered around those with some technical savvy.

However, even with the earliest options to communicate and meet people electronically, that only takes us back to 1980. For me and probably you too, that’s well within our lifetime. In a short period of time technological communications have come a long way, and of course since the mid-2000s, you could even carry all these ways with you in your pocket or purse.

So why even bother to leave the house today when you can instantly and easily connect with a world full of people all interested in the same topics you are? Many of whom are possible profitable business connections? You can be so much more productive online and even using the phone. There really isn’t a reason to get out of the house at all. Or is there…

According to a 2009 Forbes Insights survey of more than 750 business executives, eight out of ten said they prefer in-person, face-to-face meetings to technology-enabled ones. Those executives surveyed that prefer face-to-face meetings explained their preference by citing how in-person meetings build stronger, more meaningful relationships (85%), the ability to “read” another person, (77%), and greater social interaction (75%). Respondents said face-to-face meetings are best for persuasion, leadership, engagement, accountability, and decision-making.

Further, when meeting new people online, you can never be sure who is at the other end of that electronic communication. The mass media is ripe with stories of scam artists taking advantage of everyone from lonely-hearts women and even famous college football player Manti Te’o who fell for an Internet rouse of a faked girlfriend who had a fake death to business scams and scammers in my own professional speaking industry (I wrote an in-depth account of one of the more obnoxious ones on my blog in the summer of 2012.

Yet at a face-to-face event, no Nigerian scammer could ever pretend to be a lottery official in the UK, or try to hire you for a fake speaking gig at a real (and unsuspecting) church asking for several thousand dollars for a “work permit” so you can speak there.

When you do go to a meeting, then, and you decide to enter the brave new world where you don’t need an “elevator speech” to connect with new people, how can you create a connection with a stranger? Here are some strategies:

1. Be detached from any possible outcome. When you attend a meeting, be open to the possibilities of what might unfold at the meeting and the people who will meet. It’s so much more fun to attend a meeting when you look at it as a way to experience other people.
2. Smile, make eye contact and pay attention to your nonverbal messages. Nonverbal communication is the primary information people draw upon when they make their first impressions of you. Keep in mind the basics and you’ll be well on your way to creating a positive and memorable connection.
3. Focus on the person. In the spring of 2010, I had the honor to meet and share the stage with the amazing, late, great Zig Ziglar. I like to say he opened for me because he spoke just before I did in the line-up! Before we were both on stage, however, I had the opportunity to sit with Zig and speak to him for a few minutes. It wasn’t long until many people in the room realized he’d arrived and they began lining up behind me to have their chance to speak with him. Zig didn’t pay any attention to them. He was focused 100% on me, asking me questions, and sharing with me some of his much-loved Zig-wisdom. Zig Ziglar was legendary for his ability to shut out all distractions around him and focus on the person he was speaking to. Every person who had the joy of experiencing such uninterrupted attention felt how special it was. You can make others feel special too, just by giving them your full attention and not looking around the room, at your watch, or (gasp!) looking at your smart phone.
4. Have an agenda. When you go to any meeting, think about why you are choosing to spend your valuable time doing that than any of the other 57 things you could be doing instead. Your agenda should *NOT* be to make sales or identify prospects, but rather to find a plumber for your neighbor who complained his sink got stopped up for the third time this year, or something else related to connecting with people, not finding prospects.
5. Do not have ulterior motives. When you meet people and offer something of value to them, do so willingly and freely with no strings attached.
6. Do not expect anything from anyone. The world doesn’t owe you a thing and neither does anyone you meet.
7. Be more interested than interesting. This of course is tried and true advice, but important enough to mention here. You already know all about you. Seek to learn more about another person and be willing to dig a little deeper. Later in the book I’ll share with you a few questions to help you learn more about someone else and get a conversation started.

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Upcoming Events:

April 5, 2013: Go Big Video Summit, free live series, open to the public.

April 10, 2013: Testimonial Gold, free webinar, open to the public. More details coming soon.

May 7 & 9, 2013: Sponsorship for Speakers with Shannon Cherry. Intensive 2-Day Course. More details coming soon.

March-May, 2013:  The Get Healthy Summit. Featured Speaker. Virtual training open to the public.

September 11, 2013: Chicagoland Holistic Chamber of Commerce, Featured Speaker: Credibility and Cash Flow.

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Marketplace

If you’re ready to use speaking to market your business, you can be up and speaking in 6 short weeks. Discover how at SignatureSpeech.com.

Build a Beautiful Online Presence – with a Point & Click WordPress Plugin!
I just picked up a very cool plug-in called Instabuilder that works with WordPress and is point-and-click simple. Instabuilder has everything you could need and I was excited at just how affordable it really is (less than $50!). You can quickly build:

• Squeeze pages
• Sales pages
• Facebook and social media-ready pages
• Split testing
• Countdown timer (gets people motivated to take action!)
• Simple WYSIWYG visual editor
• And tons more…

Go see this easy-to-use plug-in and make your life easier so you can focus on getting your message out there instead of trying to figure out all the confusing tech stuff. Instanbuilder can be your secret to a beautiful online presence!

Creating Connections Ezine, ©Felicia J. Slattery // ISSN 1939-8646 // Volume 10 – Issue 4

Inside this Edition:

• Note from Felicia
• Feature Article
• Upcoming Events
• Marketplace

Top O’ The Mornin’ To You!

Last weekend we celebrated St. Patrick’s Day with a fantastic feast at my sister’s house. We all dressed up in our green and had a little extra fun, too! I posted another photo on Facebook too, where you can see my Dad and me with the girls. Although everyone’s Irish on St. Paddy’s Day, you see, the Slattery family are descendants of Irish kings in the Heremon line of the Clan O’Slatraigh. The name comes from the Gaelic “slatra” meaning strong. That means, when you put my first name with my last name, it means the Happy Strong one. I’ll take it! LOL

Busy Speaking Week for Me – All About Testimonials

Today is the third day in a row I’m speaking to my coach’s members-only audience on a topic he saw me casually mention on Facebook a few weeks ago. He got so excited about it, he contacted me, asked me to put together a speech and a product … and what a whirlwind couple of weeks came after that! Thanks to Steve Sipress for the idea and the opportunity and to Disk.com for getting the manufacturing and production end of things done, I now have a brand new product called Cash in on Testimonials. Look for more info on that product coming soon. I think you’ll like it; I’ve been averaging 80% close rate in the room, which means the other  For now… I have to hurry and get ready for my speaking gig this morning and masterminding after that! Life is good and I am truly blessed!

Looking for Sponsors

Kill The Elevator Speech: Stop Selling, Start Connecting Book
In case you missed it, my next book, which I have been having a fabulous time researching and writing, is one of my hot projects now. I’m using this section of my ezine to keep myself accountable and finally get the manuscript done and to my publisher. My goal is to get to 40,000 words (good ones, not just a bunch of baloney to up the word count). So each edition, in this spot, I’ll tell you where I am with my current word count. You may not even pay attention to it, but I’ll know. This week’s word count: 22,547.

Feature Article: Are You An Author, A Speaker, or An Expert
I train a lot of speakers, authors, and experts. And when I hear these typically brilliant folks introduce themselves to a room full of people at a networking meeting, for example, I hear many of them make a big mistake that could be costing them business and speaking gigs even. Read this edition’s fresh article for exactly what that is and to see if you’re making that error too. Then you’ll see how to introduce yourself more effectively so you don’t miss out on any opportunities!

Enjoy and until next time, happy speaking!

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Feature Article: Are You An Author, A Speaker, Or An Expert?

“What do you do?”

Oh the dreaded question! The result of that question tends to lead to a few answers, some of which would include an “elevator speech.” As I’m working on a book called “Kill the Elevator Speech,” you can imagine how I feel about THAT! However what should you say if you are a speaker, an author, and have expertise in a particular area?

As a speaking coach and trainer of fellow professional speakers, a lot of folks I work with identify themselves as professional speakers, as well they should. In fact, one of the biggest mistakes I see is too many smart people who are speakers, keep it to themselves. They don’t broadcast it enough and they don’t share that they are, in fact speakers.

That’s such a shame, because if YOU don’t tell people what you do, they will never guess. And then you will never be invited to speak. So you HAVE to tell people you are a speaker, which is why this article is about to take an interesting turn…

Too often I see brilliant people who have extensive expertise in a particular area introduce themselves at meetings or in groups as a “speaker and author.” If that’s your only chance to share who you are and what you do, using those exact words is a mistake.

You’re not saying enough!

Of course you should say that you are a speaker and author. But if you stop there, the main question of those listening to you in that moment is, “What do you speak and write about?” But if you’re in a room where people aren’t able to stop you to ask and you just continue on, you’re missing a major opportunity to share your main area of expertise.

How to solve this is very simple: after you say, “I’m a speaker and an author,” add, “…author of [your book title] and I teach [or train or consult or coach or whatever you do] people about [your area of expertise.]” After you add that small bit, which by the way is not an elevator speech, but simply a more complete introduction to a group, now you’ve finally added in the information that people need to know about you. You’re giving them the words to remember about you.

Yes speaker and author is good, but you have to be known for your expertise first and then people can know you are also a speaker and author, which only amps up your expertise.

Today’s article is short & sweet. Take action on this and remember — to be successful don’t think in terms of “or” think in terms of AND. So you are an author, a speaker AND an expert and people deserve to know it so you can serve them in the ways only you best can.

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Upcoming Events:

March 7 & 8, 2013: Signature Speech for Authors. Intensive Virtual All-Day Workshop.

March 18, 19 & 20, 2013: Chicagoland’s Sharpest Entrepreneurs, Featured Speaker: Testimonial Gold: How to Give an Excellent, Impressive, and Useful Testimonials.

April 9 & 11, 2013: Sponsorship for Speakers with Shannon Cherry. Mini Course. More details coming soon.

Macrh-May, 2013:  The Get Healthy Summit. Featured Speaker. Virtual training open to the public.

September 11, 2013: Chicagoland Holistic Chamber of Commerce, Featured Speaker: Credibility and Cash Flow.

————————————————————————

Marketplace

If you’re ready to use speaking to market your business, you can be up and speaking in 6 short weeks. Discover how at SignatureSpeech.com.

Build a Beautiful Online Presence – with a Point & Click WordPress Plugin!
I just picked up a very cool plug-in called Instabuilder that works with WordPress and is point-and-click simple. Instabuilder has everything you could need and I was excited at just how affordable it really is (less than $50!). You can quickly build:

• Squeeze pages
• Sales pages
• Facebook and social media-ready pages
• Split testing
• Countdown timer (gets people motivated to take action!)
• Simple WYSIWYG visual editor
• And tons more…

Go see this easy-to-use plug-in and make your life easier so you can focus on getting your message out there instead of trying to figure out all the confusing tech stuff. Instanbuilder can be your secret to a beautiful online presence!

Creating Connections Ezine, ©Felicia J. Slattery // ISSN 1939-8646 // Volume 10 – Issue 3

Inside this Edition:

• Note from Felicia
• Speakers Spotlight
• Feature Article
• Upcoming Events
• Marketplace

————————————————————-

Personal Note

Hello Again Dear Reader!

Yesterday in the Chicago area Mother Nature dumped about 8″ of snow on us, leading to one of the best possible things that can happen to a kid: SNOW DAY! All the schools in our area were closed, which meant my girls could sleep in (ha – as if!), read their library books, build a fort in their rooms, and play outside in the snow with the neighbors. Such fun! As for me, I got my cardio workout in shoveling the driveway and sidewalk with my hubby, Brent, who came home early from work to avoid traffic and beat at least some of the snow. In all we ended up shoveling THREE times!!

Adela Lost Everything She Owned in a Fire
Earlier this week, I sent a message to my subscribers about my friend and VIP client Adela Rubio, who one evening last month was on the phone when she suddenly heard her mother screaming, (Adela takes care of her aging parents in the home they shared together), “There’s smoke coming through the floor!” In less than an hour their home was burned to the ground, along with all of Adela’s work except what she could salvage from one small laptop computer. Some of our colleagues have come together to support her in getting her and her family back on their feet by offering 19 products – each worth more then $100 – for one excellent low price. Go now to AdelaRubio.com see those products and help out someone in need.

Time to Get Healthy!
As you can imagine, when I was diagnosed with lung cancer last year, my health became my #1 priority until it was cured and I was completely healed (woo-hoo!). Now that I’m happily on the other side and healthy again, folks are interested in the changes I’ve been making with regard to my fitness and healthy eating. I’ve been invited to be a featured presenter in the Get Healthy Summit. This unique interview series began this week and will feature 25 of the most interesting natural health practitioners including green smoothie advocates, raw foodies, fitness trainers, detox coaches, and more. Register here so you don’t miss a single interview.

Kill The Elevator Speech: Stop Selling, Start Connecting Book
Thank you for your well-wishes and warm response to this section in my most recent past edition. I had no idea if anyone would even read it! In case you missed it, my next book, which I have been having a fabulous time researching and writing, is one of my hot projects now. I’m at the point where I need to keep myself accountable and finally get the manuscript done and to my publisher. My goal is to get to 40,000 words (good ones, not just a bunch of baloney to up the word count). So each edition, in this spot, I’ll tell you where I am with my current word count. You may not even pay attention to it, but I’ll know. This week’s word count: 21,177 (yay – that 20K is a big milestone!).

Feature Article: Top 5 Reasons Why the Elevator Speech Should Be Killed!
I know, that’s some strong language, but sometimes a metaphorical  “crime of passion” is the only way to be ruthless with your time and business so you can truly connect with people, while also serving them and make some great money in the process. Today’s article is a portion of my book and explains in brief detail what the problem is with the whole “elevator speech” thing anyway. You may or may not agree, but this is a fresh new article and I’d love your input. Maybe you might even get a spot in the book (hey, I could use the words and even more insight!).

Enjoy and until next time, happy speaking!

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Speakers Spotlight: Smokin’ Hot List-Building Video Series

Photo Credit: Nighthawk101Stock

How to Finally Have More Fun and Make More Money in Your Business!

Isn’t it time to finally be making the big impact you KNOW you should be making in the world? Imagine being able to enjoy a never-ending stream of clients and sales. Imagine being able to say goodbye to the feast or famine cycle in your business forever. If you’ve been struggling getting clients one-on-one and you’re exhausted or you just know there has to be a better way… There is and you can discover how to be able to reach tens of thousands of your perfect prospects within seconds with this brand, new video series from the List Building Queen, Signature Speech (TM) graduate and wildly successful Maritza Parra. Register as my guest and enjoy these content-rich, fun videos and discover the better way.

If you’re not familiar with her, Maritza Parra is a sought-after list building expert and has spoken on Dan Kennedy’s stage twice, among other big stages. She’s had clients like Matt Damon, Billy Bob Thornton, Penelope Cruz and Mark Victor Hansen. She’s even been interviewed by Oprah Winfrey herself!

Not only that, but her clients have been seeing amazing success, with more prospects, profits and visibility – they’ve been featured on the Jimmy Kimmel Show, Town & Country and Cosmopolitan magazine to name a few (all while building profitable businesses they love!). If that sounds like someone you want to learn from, too, well, I knew you were a smart cookie! Go see what this cool video series is all about right here.

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Feature Article: Top 5 Reasons Why the Elevator Speech Stinks!

Do THESE guys want to hear your “elevator speech?” Probably not.

Last year, after I had major surgery, part of my 3-month recovery included a significant amount of physical therapy. The location I chose was close to my home, which made going 3-4 times per week for hours at a time very convenient. The atmosphere of this particular physical therapy location was unlike how I’d imagined it’d be based on the couple of times I had taken loved ones in the past to physical therapy appointments.

It was set up like a small gym or personal training studio next to an area with about 8 tables for the therapists to work on individual patients. Because so many of us were there, literally for 2 or more hours at a time – some were there for 5 hours at a time! – I started to see many of the same faces over and over again.

I quickly noticed part of the culture of that particular physical therapy location was for the multiple therapists on duty at the time, along with the “regular” patients, of whom I quickly became one, to banter back and forth, talk about sports (a big thing when you live in the Chicago area and one of the guys in therapy is a professional athlete), and laugh at ourselves and our circumstances. Think of it as laughing through the pain.

Of course part of the conversation and small talk was around meeting each other, shaking hands, and introducing ourselves. Inevitably someone would ask, “So what do you do for a living?”

If I wasn’t already against using an elevator speech, I might have had a problem. Many of the folks in physical therapy were heavy laborers of some kind: truck drivers, brick layers, etc. There was a nurse, that professional athlete I mentioned, all of those folks injured on the job. Then there were a couple of people like me who weren’t injured on the job, but had surgery or some other injury we were recovering from.

Just imagine the look on a big truck driver’s face after he asked me, “What do you do?” had I given him an “elevator speech” answer. I would have been laughed right out of the place! Or worse, he would have been confused or weirded out and probably just walked away.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. That you have to be “strategic” when deciding if you’re going to use your “elevator speech.” And that obviously, that wasn’t the place. It wasn’t a networking meeting. No one goes to physical therapy with the express purpose of meeting other people. But that’s one of the problems with why the elevator speech stinks on so many levels. Here you go:

1. Many People Don’t Know How to Turn It Off
   You’ve probably met people at a wedding, for example, or another non-professional occasion, who, when introduced to them, the topic of what they do for a living comes up and they blurt out their elevator speech all proud of themselves. Then suddenly, the conversation STOPS. It’s awkward. Did you just try to sell me something? No? What the heck was all THAT about? You were just making polite conversation, but that person had no filter on an appropriate time to talk using “work language” and when to turn it off and just give it a rest. Now you may feel like you need a shower.
2. The Elevator Speech Is Not Audience Specific
   When you write any speech, step 1 always has to be to answer the question, “who is my audience?” Theoretically speaking, if an elevator speech was a good idea, you’d have to prepare it for a specific segment or type of person. Except ANYONE at ANY TIME could ask you what you do for a living. So then in that moment, you’re faced with a choice: to use the elevator speech or not. If you go with what you’ve got and the person you’re speaking to in no way resembles the person you wrote the speech for, you get that awkward moment from above. If you write a speech that is “general” to “everyone” – well, that’s marketing suicide. So what do you do? Skip the speech, that’s what.
3. The Elevator Speech Is Not Conducive to Actual Human Conversation
   If the purpose of the elevator speech is to have an answer prepared when someone asks you what you do for a living, and then you answer a single person asking a question in friendly conversation with a “speech,” you’re completely missing the mark. A conversation is a two-way communication event, not a one-way monologue or presentation, like a public speech. Having a conversation does not entail pre-planning your statements or delivering a forced, rehearsed diatribe. Conversations are spontaneous and, well, conversational.
4. People Don’t Remember Your Elevator Speech (or Even the Highlights)
   Most people are hard-pressed to remember what THEY just said five minutes ago, let alone what YOU said. Exactly how much do people remember about you? After a brief introduction, they’ll remember about 1-3 words’ worth of detail such as, “she’s a speaker,” or “he’s a writer.” Maybe once they get to know you in conversation they’re remember more specific words like “leadership speaker” or “writer of marketing books.” Give people those words you want to be remembered by or they’ll come up with their own from your whole, long, spiel that doesn’t matter to them at all.
5. Elevator Speeches Simply Don’t “Work”
   There have been very few studies about elevator speeches or pitches, but those that do exist all prove one thing: it’s a lot of time spend stressing over a “speech” for exactly zero return. According to Peter J. Denning and Nicolas Dew, in an article published in the June 2012 edition of Communications of the ACM Journal, (that’s Association for Computing Machinery – see? there’s not a lot of empirical research out there),

   “The data does not support the conventional wisdom that the elevator pitch is a key to success with innovations. The convention is a myth.”

And finally, although I only promised you 5 reasons why we should kill the elevator speech, here’s a bonus reason:

Most folks don’t like being on the receiving end and most don’t like having to give them. Therefore, if we don’t like ‘em, let’s do away with the elevator speech. Who’s with me?

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Upcoming Events:

March 7 & 8, 2013: Signature Speech for Authors. Intensive Virtual All-Day Workshop.

March 18, 2013: Chicagoland’s Sharpest Entrepreneurs, Featured Speaker: Testimonial Gold: How to Give an Excellent, Impressive, and Useful Testimonials. Register Here for SSS Marketing University to get tickets.

April 9 & 11, 2013: Sponsorship for Speakers with Shannon Cherry. Mini Course. More details coming soon.

Macrh-May, 2013:  The Get Healthy Summit. Featured Speaker. Virtual training open to the public.

September 11, 2013: Chicagoland Holistic Chamber of Commerce, Featured Speaker: Credibility and Cash Flow.

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Marketplace

If you’re ready to use speaking to market your business, you can be up and speaking in 6 short weeks. Discover how at SignatureSpeech.com.

Build a Beautiful Online Presence – with a Point & Click WordPress Plugin!
I just picked up a very cool plug-in called Instabuilder that works with WordPress and is point-and-click simple. Instabuilder has everything you could need and I was excited at just how affordable it really is (less than $50!). You can quickly build:

• Squeeze pages
• Sales pages
• Facebook and social media-ready pages
• Split testing
• Countdown timer (gets people motivated to take action!)
• Simple WYSIWYG visual editor
• And tons more…

Go see this easy-to-use plug-in and make your life easier so you can focus on getting your message out there instead of trying to figure out all the confusing tech stuff. Instanbuilder can be your secret to a beautiful online presence!

At any given time I could have 10-15 games going at once. Interestingly, I’ve only met about half the people I play in person. The other half I know from social media. People see I play, and start a game with me. If I recognize the name of the person from my circles of online connections, I accept and it’s game on.

One of those connections is the lovely and strategic WWF player (that’s my abbreviation for “Words With Friends”), Tracey Thorpe Tarrant.

Tracey is a fantastic person. From her Facebook feed, you quickly learn she is beyond your run-of-the-mill animal-lover. She’s such a devoted rescuer of pets from high-kill shelters, she actually formed her own rescue organization, Claws and Paws Animal Rescue, of which she is the CEO. She saves many animals from too-soon deaths and too-sad lives in the Georgia county where she lives.

Yesterday, my friend, Shannon Cherry was commenting on Facebook about how her search for a new Virtual Assistant was yielding some less-than-ideal results, at least with one applicant.

As you can see, that led to a whopping 37+ comments about virtual assistants. A few of those comments were from some who could do the kind of work Shannon needs. And one of those people was my friend Tracey Thorpe Tarrant, the “dog rescue lady!” – and apparently Virtual Assistant and Online Business Manager. Who knew? Not me. And I am her market.

I told her I had no idea that she did customer service work for businesses like Shannon’s and mine. All this time I figured she was living off the dog rescue business (if that’s even possible).

She quickly commented that she should maybe, once in a while, post about her business. I agree!

Then I asked her if it’d be OK for me to write a blog post about this simple mistake so many people make when networking online (or using one of the many games apps to do so as well).

It’s interesting because I see mistakes at both ends of this spectrum. Some people don’t post enough (or at all) anything work-related but others post way too much, and only work-related things – never anything personal.

The trick to social media, and any networking online or offline, is to communicate the whole of who you are as a person. This whole person communication is one of the most beautiful parts of social media, as far as I’m concerned. Because we are in charge of sharing what we choose about our lives, we get to easily build relationships around a number of things we have in common with others, bit business and pleasure.

Choose wisely.

Knowing what to talk about and what to leave out can be a challenge. But think of social media as a platform where people want to get to know you a bit. The WHOLE you – business as well as personal.

There is a similar mistake I see a lot of entrepreneurs and experts making; not necessarily leaving out or not talking about what they do for a living, but that they also do (or want to do) speaking for their ideal audiences. If people don’t know that you offer a particular service like public speaking, how can they hire you for it? So many of my clients come to me asking for help, and that’s one of the places I always start. It’s likely they haven’t even mentioned in their bio or about page or anywhere that they do public speaking on their area of expertise.

Want to be sure you’re not making any more common communication mistakes? Pick up my free report Costly Communication Blunders today.

In the meantime, I’d love to know what kinds of things you like to talk about on social media? Please share in the comments below.

Creating Connections Ezine, ©Felicia J. Slattery // ISSN 1939-8646 // Volume 10 – Issue 2

Inside this Edition:

• Note from Felicia
• Speakers Spotlight
• Feature Article
• Upcoming Events
• Marketplace

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Personal Note

Hello Again Dear Reader!

I just love how prayers and needs get answered. I was thinking I need someone to manage my neglected and dusty affiliate program, and within a couple of days I was contacted by someone wonderful who can do the work within exactly my budget! Also, I’m in the process of creating my next really, REALLY big thing and was thinking, “I could use a professional logo for this,” when a wonderful graphic designer I worked with contacted me and reminded me I had a credit on my account with him. It’s amazing to watch God at work in the small moments!

My new WordPress Webmaster and Maintenance Guru, Paul Taubman, all around great guy!

I’ve been busy cleaning my virtual house these past couple of weeks. And according to my new WordPress maintenance man and head geek, Paul Taubman, it wasn’t a moment too soon! As I dig and sift and sort, I’ll be coming up with all kinds of cool things to share with you from past content that will show up again, updated, in articles, videos, and classes, as well as brand new programs I’ll be offering and teaching live.

Speaking Invitations Continue to Come In

I’m now booked for two cool new telesummits – one of them all about health and the changes I’ve made to my lifestyle and diet since recovering 100% from lung cancer surgery. And I’ll also be speaking at a local chapter of a large national association in the fall. Very exciting!

LinkedIn Favor?

As I evaluate where my clients come from, I’ve learned that a lot of people find me on LinkedIn. In order to build that presence more, I’d like to add to my written referrals (not the clicked “endorsements,” but the actual referrals with a brief few sentences). If you could take a moment and visit my LinkedIn profile and tell others what you enjoy about my work, I’d be ever so grateful. Thank you in advance!

Kill The Elevator Speech: Stop Selling, Start Connecting Book

My next book, which I have been having a fabulous time researching and writing, is one of my hot projects now. I’m at the point where I need to keep myself accountable and finally get the manuscript done and to my publisher. My goal is to get to 40,000 words (good ones, not just a bunch of baloney to up the word count). So each edition, in this spot, I’ll tell you where I am with my current word count. You may not even pay attention to it, but I’ll know. This week’s word count: 17,908.

Article: It’s a Matter of Respect

In this edition’s fresh new article I want to address a touchy subject: respect. You might not think it’s touchy, but when you see what I have to say about it, you could change your mind.

Enjoy and until next time, happy speaking!

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Speakers Spotlight: Get Your Websites and Pages Up Fast

Photo Credit: Nighthawk101Stock

If you’re like me and you’re much better at what you do than putting together all the Internet “stuff” to tell other people about what you do, you’re in luck! I just picked up a very cool plug-in called Instabuilder that works with WordPress and is point-and-click simple. In a few days I’ll be unveiling the first of many sites I’ll be building that will use this nifty tool.

Instabuilder has everything you could need and I was excited at just how affordable it really is (less than $50!). You can quickly build:

• Squeeze pages
• Sales pages
• Facebook and social media-ready pages
• Split testing
• Countdown timer (gets people motivated to take action!)
• Simple WYSIWYG visual editor
• And tons more…

Go see this easy-to-use plug-in and make your life easier so you can focus on getting your message out there instead of trying to figure out all the confusing tech stuff. Instanbuilder can be your secret to a beautiful online presence!

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Feature Article: It’s a Matter of Respect

Last Sunday, in a highly unusual before-Mass plea, the pastor of our church stood in front of the altar and asked the congregation to help him “with something.”

Growing up going to a Catholic school and attending Mass regularly, I was taught never to chew gum in school or in church. That was rude and disrespectful to the teachers and priests. Not wanting to be disrespectful, I always waited for my gum-chewing. (Incidentally, I have long-since given up chewing gum altogether. When you talk for a living as much as I tend to, all that gum-chewing actually puts undue pressure on the jaw and for me, anyway, caused headaches. I’m now an Altoids fan and mostly headache-free!)

In his rare, before Mass announcement, our pastor explained how, from where he stands each week, he can see people chomping away like cows chewing on cud in the field. And he shared the story about how during the week, while kneeling in one of the pews, he happened to lean back, putting both hands under the pew — and came up with chewed gum in both hands! Ew.

So he asked us to help or family members and friends remember they can chew gum later.

To me, it’s all a matter of respect.

Just like you don’t interrupt someone when they’re speaking.

Or you live up to the promises you make.

There are things we can do when on stage that either respect or disrespect our audience members, too.

I’ve seen some speakers treat audience members like cattle, trying to herd as many as possible into their programs by using smarmy tactics that might work for a moment, but truly disrespect the people they should be seeking to serve.

Another form of disrespect is when a speaker is asked to speak at an event because they are a recognized expert in their field, but then refuse to share any useful tips or any helpful information with their audiences, explaining they don’t “have time” but if only you buy my $2000 product, you’ll get all your questions answered.

I’ve long taught the concept of “serving from the stage,” where similar to the servant leadership movement started in the 1970s by Robert Greenleaf, speakers should embrace the opportunity to serve their audiences. That service starts with respect. When you respect your audiences and serve from the stage you:

• Answer questions honestly and as completely as possible given the context of the event. And when you don’t know an answer, simply say so.
• Don’t “hard sell” but simply share what you have to offer, explaining who you think it’s right for and how their lives might be enhanced if they purchase what you’re selling.
• Sure, you can employ some smart marketing strategies to spur people into action, but do it in a way that honors the intelligence of your audience members and adds real value to your offer.
• Provide a way for your audience members to continue to interact with you. In a win-win situation, that means you get to collect their information and they get to receive something from you of value.
• Share information that will enhance their lives right away. Mention a resource (or website of one), explain how to fix or change something quickly and easily, or provide a tool that you know works to solve a particular problem.
• Cite your sources…. don’t take credit for ideas that are not your own. This shows respect for your industry and the other authors and speakers you appreciate and have learned from.

When you respect your audiences, they will respect you in return and amazing things will happen: you’ll get unsolicited testimonials; you’ll get referrals; and months or years later you’ll hear from someone who saw you speak and now they’re ready to hire you today. Plus, offering your respect is  just a better way to do business.

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Upcoming Events:

March 7 & 8, 2013, Signature Speech for Authors. Intensive Virtual All-Day Workshop. Look for more details VERY soon!

April 9 & 11, 2013: Sponsorship for Speakers with Shannon Cherry. Mini Course.

April, The Get Healthy Summit. Featured Speaker. Virtual training open to the public.

September 11, 2013, Chicagoland Holistic Chamber of Commerce, Featured Speaker: Credibility and Cash Flow.

—————————————————

Marketplace

If you’re ready to use speaking to market your business, you can be up and speaking in 6 short weeks. Discover how at SignatureSpeech.com.

Now accepting sponsors to be featured in this place (a juicy spot just above the comments!) every other Wednesday. Email me for details Felicia {at} FeliciaSlattery {dot} com.

Bradley Hall, the iconic building of my alma mater, Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois

It was a last minute decision.

My former head coach from the time I competed on the Bradley University Speech Team (happily now known as BUST), asked me a simple question on my Facebook wall, “Are you going to AWW?” (So many acronyms…) I soon learned AWW stands for Alumni Work Weekend, where the not-quite ghosts of speech teams and national championships past are invited to converge on Peoria and coach the current team members in their quest to continue the legacy and win two more national championship titles, from AFA – American Forensics Association and NFA- National Forensics Association.

Early Saturday morning I found myself driving south, following first the Fox River and then the Illinois River all the way to Peoria, where I don’t think I’ve been in about 20 years. It was a beautiful morning, sunny and very little traffic. As I arrived on campus, it looked a lot different than it did when I was last there.

I made my way to the speech office – wow- when I competed for the team we were spread all over Bradley hall with no one home base beyond a hallway where three of the coaches and college professors had their offices. Now there is an entire state-of-the-art BUILDING dedicated to communication, which both warms my heart and makes me just a wee bit jealous at the same time.

The buildings and campus aren’t all that’s changed.

A couple rules, which were hard and fast when I competed, are now long gone. And some events look different too (I’m talking about a program duo… like cutting one play into 10 minutes wasn’t enough…sheesh.). But what struck me most is what remains the same.

Of course there are common perennial themes that college students like to explore such as sexuality, connectedness, and gender equality. But even more so, beyond the common themes, was the recurring challenge of executing the basics well.

As I coached these students, most of whom had far more talent than I and would likely have crushed me in competition, I noticed an effort to get better without completing the firm foundation. Here are a few things I found myself repeating over and again that can help anyone speaking, not just those in the tiny world of collegiate forensics:

1. Slow down and enunciate: I must have written and/or spoken this 15 times on Saturday. The students were excited about their messages and clearly wanted to hurry up and get to the “good parts.” But we all have to remember, every single part of a speech is necessary in order to fully communicate the message of the presentation.  Even if your introduction is perfectly memorized and you can spout it at 60 miles per hour, doesn’t mean you should. Take your time and make sure your audience can follow the meaning to your message.
2. Move with purpose: This one slays me. Back in my day, walking during an interp piece was taboo. You *might* be able to get away with taking a step to one side or the other, but much like a basketball player has to pivot, there was no leaving your initial spot. So I had to quickly get used to seeing the students move all over the place, books in hand. (If you’re not familiar with the interpretation of literature in competition, competitors choose a piece of literature, poem, or a play, depending on the event; they make a script from a small section of it by cutting the story into an 8-10-minute presentation; they place the story into a small, black, 3-ring binder, and turn the pages as they present the story, bringing the story to life.) Once I got used to the idea of competitors walking around, I could appreciate how it could add to the communication of the message. But then, sometimes, a student would walk or move, just to move. It had no rhyme or reason. When you speak, pacing the stage like a cat on the prowl is distracting, no matter what you’re talking about. Walking is good; it just has to be done with a purpose: advancing the message and continuing to engage your audience.
3. Gestures matter: These students, the best speakers in the country, know how to control their bodies and faces to communicate a specific emotion. Yet even the best of them needed an occasional reminder that they have to pay attention to the smallest things. One student told a story where the main character made a phone call, but then the pantomime phone suddenly disappeared into thin air, rather than completing the pantomime gesture of returning the phone to a back pocket or a table.  Another student was holding a pantomime gun, but instead of having fingers and hand wrapped around the pistol as if he was really holding it, he pointed his fingers as if they were the gun. These may seem like tiny, picky little things, because they are, but its this attention to detail that will make a difference in getting into a final round at nationals or not.  When you speak, be deliberate about your gestures and think about what the audience is seeing.
4. One word can make all the difference: In every speech I listened to, there was often one word, one moment that represented a missed opportunity to allow the audience to experience another level of a story’s impact. Just like in real life, those tiny moments and single words can add up and make all the difference between a memorable speech that impacts the audience and one that leaves the audience a little flat. Don’t let the tiniest of moments pass by without giving thought to how you’ll present them and the power of a single word.

Going back to Bradley and working with these student was an honor and a privilege. Just as I feel when I work with my clients today, I can see those students continuing to do great things as they deliver their speeches.

Driving in rush hour traffic is never fun either, although I’ve worked out a route that avoids any back-ups.  As I drive to the once-a-week meeting, I am always grateful for the other four days of the week and the usual 30-second commute to my home office or the sunny sofa in my living room. I say a prayer of thanks for that not-so-small blessing to be able to work from home each time I have to get in the car during rush hour.

Once I’m there, however, the room is always filled with an energy and air of friendliness, welcoming and anticipation. Weekly attendance is not mandatory (although there is a three strikes in a row and you’re out rule), so it’s never the same exact group twice. Occasionally people move away or leave the group and other times we have visitors and new members join, so sometimes there are new faces to greet.

As we all settle into our seats, Donna, our always excellent server, takes each person’s breakfast order. Eggs and toast for some, oatmeal or fruit for others, and coffee or tea only for others still. Donna always remembers to bring me an extra large glass of water with a lemon in it. And she knows my favorite usual breakfast is fruit crepes.

I have a policy when I go out to restaurants: I always try to order something I wouldn’t usually make at home. The fact that I’ve been cooking gourmet foods at home since I was about 15 years old creates a bit of a problem for that policy to be truly enforced. There aren’t many foods I haven’t tried making in my kitchen. I didn’t say I’m great at all of them… (pie crust comes to mind and my wonderful mother-in-law will get me whipped into shape at some point), but I’ll try anything! So that, and given that my sister gave me a crepe pan last year for Christmas, might normally take these off as possibilities from the menu for me. But I love them!

Crepes bring me back to the time I lived in Paris for a semester study abroad program back in college. Crepes are the warm comfort food I could pick up on my way home from class at the Sorbonne and eat as I waited for my Metro to arrive in the chilly, damp autumn air. I can still taste the crunchy edges, sweet, melted Nutella and warm banana filling. That was before you could find Nutella here in the States at every grocery store, so it was an exotic treat back in 1990. Crepes make me happy.

And now crepes have become part of another story in my life. The story of me, the professional, meeting with colleagues, customers, and friends to talk about business and life.

Because I’ve traveled coast-to-coast for speaking engagements, have people all over the world attend my webinars and teleclasses, and have worked with private clients from Europe to Canada to Australia to the UK and more, people always ask me why I go to this little local meeting so faithfully. The truth is there are a lot of valid business reasons for me to attend. I’ve worked with a majority of the people in the group either buying their services or being a service provider to them doing communication and speech strategy. But there are other benefits like:

• Getting real life weekly feedback on tag lines and messages
• Having a microcosm of my ideal clients in one room: solo business professionals
• In person, face-to-face relationships, friendships and support – this makes what could be a lonely at home work environment less lonely
• Having a chance to serve from the leads group stage, providing tips and suggestions to the people in the room. This has resulted in a group member getting offered a dream job with double the salary, lots more business for many, and an understanding of communicating in a variety of ways online & off.
• And did I mention the crepes?

If you’re not meeting with a regular group of people to help you advance your profession and theirs, you’re missing out! If you are, I’d love to know what your group is all about in the comments below.